Analogy

So why is it that when a guy sleeps around he's label a "playa"; but when a girl sleeps around, she's a "slut", which is frowned upon?

Well, think of it this way: A key that opens any lock is an "awesome" key; but a lock that gets opened by any key is a pretty shitty lock.

Common

So i realize that there are several things in common w/ all the men that I date. Here's the list:

• All at least 6 feet tall (this is NOT an option!)
• All wear Old Spice
• All never need glasses (me neither)
• All have pretty stinky farts
• All white
• All language retards
• All were between the ages of 19~21 despite 5~6 yrs have gone by lmao
  

So............... i think it's time i go see a psychiatrist.

@ Work

me: UMMM BAYB!!!!
Joe Au: my computer has been eating shit and isn't working with me :(
me: hump it, show it sum luvin'
Joe Au: i wish i could, but its got a rotating fan and i'm scared
me: LMAO